The Twisted Underbelly of Irvine California

Irvine has a wealthy, educated population,
about 150 Kpeople. Its largest employer
is the University. Broadcom is here.
Western Digital. Taco Hell :-)

It strives to be Disneyland-clean and
wholesome. Here's some wacky facts.

Irvine's former Mayor, Christina Shea,
chewed out the police for busting her
daughter for having methamphetamine.
The elder Shea is quite thin, talkative,
and has ranted about Irvine being a romantic
place. Since speed makes you hump like
rabbits, I find this ironic.

Irvine had an Egyptian guy who kept a
girl as child-slave in his garage. She
didn't go to school. Apparently this is
common in Egypt, but someone forgot to
clue the dude in.

Sometime after 9/11 (TM), an Egyptian
from Irvine tried to shoot up el-al
at LAX.

Last year a schizo grocery bagger decapitated
a few colleages at the Albertson's across
the street. I recognized his picture in
the paper ---he'd bagged my groceries
before, with my 5 year old in the wagon.
He obsessed on Highlander and brought
a samuri sword to work one day. Off his
meds, obviously.

The Albertson's baggers may come from
some kind of rehab program. There's
a chick whose face is blue from tattoos,
and down her throat, and she wears gloves, which means her hands are too. Once we were in her line, and my kid asked about it. "Decoration" as a concept comes in remarkably handy at times.

My favorite Irvine Weirdness:
A Mormon gynecologist, Larry C Ford,
was accused of trying to assasinate
a business partner (who survived).
When the police questioned him, he
blew his head off with a shotgun.
Turned out he had C-4 (plastic explosive,
RDX composition), a full-auto machine
gun, ammo, buried in his back yard.
He had various biowarfare germs in his
garage 'fridge. He turned out to have
ties to a south african chemwar scientist.
The houses around his were evacuated, the
residents put in posh hotels, while various
Agencies dug up his yard. Mormon gynos
with C-4 and SA connections, gotta love it.
I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Oh, another thing: Orange county is the
mountain-lion vs. human capital of the
US. Last year a lion ate one mountain biker, got into a tug of war with another
mountain biker over a mountain biker who
survived. They've mangled kids in
Casper's Park a few years ago. Last year
some dude, alone, had a lion jump into
the hiking trail and check him out.
The dude had a pistol and a cell phone
that didn't work. Lions don't recognize
pistols and move fast. The guy backed
up until he got reception and was coptered
out.

So when my kid "lion-bait" and I go hiking,
we see signs not only for
* poison oak
* hazardous terrain
* rattlesnakes
but also
* mountain lions
and also, in some places,
* unexploded ordnance
because some now-populated areas were
used for bombing practice during WWII.

Disneyland with teeth, eh?

Over and out.